Life feels hectic and crazy. I realized at the beginning of December that I was in over my head. My first clue was when my kids’ therapist started asking me more questions about myself and talking about self care.
My second clue was when I stopped going to the gym.
My third clue was when I found myself with a heaping bowl of carb laden pasta.
This was survival mode.
I dug in my heels and came to a screeching halt. All non-essentials moved to the bottom of my list. I decided to accept the carbs and the naps temporarily. I begged out of activities that weren’t necessary.
I took advantage of a cold and decided it was the perfect excuse to not attend the kids’ class parties and to not volunteer at the schools.
I stayed in bed more. I plowed through work and focused on getting my children’s academic requirements completed. We had a mountain of papers that hadn’t been turned in for one kid. His teacher said we should do the extra credit, too.
I told his teacher we are limping along until Christmas break and the extra credit won’t be completed. I’m not sorry. I’m desperate.
Gifts were purchased on amazon. I actually wrapped them all. Our elf moved to a new location in the home most nights.
This was a stressful season for me and I’m so glad the hectic Advent holiday festivities are over.
Why do all of my children’s clubs, classes and friends insist on December celebrations? Christmas is a beautiful, holy season. Advent, on the other hand…
Why not do a January winterfest? A March umbrella party? A June beach bash? We had 8 different activities scheduled by clubs and classes for December, most of which are nonreligious associations. It was overkill.
Now we are in the Christmas season. Santa and his elf have come and gone. It is time for family, games around the table, leftovers, and peace. My two younger kids even played together without fighting (and I have pictures to prove it!)
Its not all peace–it is boredom and discomfort in the quiet, too.
The one thing I insisted on was putting up outside lights. I did a simple line of icicle lights and threw our multicolor netting over the front garden. The symbolism of the lights shining, even in the darkest nights, remind me that God is still here, even when I feel like I’m smothering under a heavy blanket. I’m not alone, and there is always Hope just around the corner.