Terry’s going for his second Master’s degree–this time, in systems engineering. I’ve encouraged him to go for it, and he was accepted into Southern Methodist University.
I want a Master’s degree, too. I don’t know in what field. I didn’t exactly set the world on fire in college. I’d like to re-do it. It’s not like I was incapable. I Just didn’t bother to apply myself. I don’t know if I’d even get in to a Master’s program. And if I did, in what fields am I interested? I’d have to commit to a full time job upon graduating to justify the expense of a Master’s degree. And maybe I don’t want to do that. Maybe I want more children. I can’t put a baby in daycare. I just can’t. Maybe I don’t want more children, maybe I want to care for the ones I have. Maybe I’d get a Master’s degree and then be unable to find a job in the field for which I discovered a passion. Maybe I’d hate what I thought I’d love. I love learning, and I”m good at it, as a professor pointed out. I’m just not good at settling upon a course of study–or committing long term to anything except my husband and children, and perhaps the dogs.
I’m stuck in fricking Utah and a bit bored and a bit unsettled, missing my old life–but my old life was pretty much the same as this life, except we swam every day in our pool instead of walking in snow. Same insecurities, same questions, same lack of direction.
Terry and I have been reading a book called “Out of Mormonism”. It’s about a woman and her family (true story) who convert to LDS, are temple-worthy members for 7 years and then re-discover Jesus Christ and become evangelical Christians.
Her recollections regarding temple practices and beliefs about Lucifer being Jesus’ brother are horrifying, and incredibly saddening to us. We hope to find more information about how to respond to the Mormon community. We don’t want to just exist here, we want to be a light in this present darkness.
I convinced my daughter to nap today. Every Tues. night is Bible study at our friends’ house, and Grace is so bratty past 700pm. Bible Study STARTS at 7:00pm. So we got home from the park (See previous post) and AJ played in the yard, on his bike, in the rain. Silly boy. We fingerpainted inside and AJ had a hard time wrapping his mind around what to actually do. He decided it would be much better to wash his hands and then brush his teeth. Whatever. Then he went in his room for a nap.
I discovered crayon on the back of Grace’s door and gave her a cloth and sprayed some bleach and made her scrub it off. I thought it was “restitution” and a form of discipline, but it turns out she likes to clean things. She begged for more cleaning. So she cleaned all the doors and windowsills on the main floor. Then she went outside and picked up all the leaves on the sidewalk and driveway and put them back in the grass. Then she cleaned her room and put all the books away on the bookshelf.
Meanwhile AJ was playing with his trains in his room. And legos, from the sound of things.
Grace finally agreed to lay down for a little bit when I mentioned that the House Fairy wanted to reward all her hard work. She had a bit o’ice cream in bed (I’m a pushover) and now is sleeping peacefully.
AJ’s still up. 2.5 hours later. At least he’s gated in. I’m working on a hat to go with the matching baby kimono during this downtime.
The kiddos are driving me NUTS. Grace has been irresponsible with our DVD collection, and leaves DVDs out of the case on the floor. Imagine her surprise when her favorite, “All Dogs Go to Heaven,” is skipping in several places. Then she starts screaming, b/c she just can’t bear it. Then she pushes AJ, who starts screaming. Then the two dogs start playing with each other, knocking everyone over in the process.
Today is not a knitting day. We’re packing up and going to the park to feed the ducks and the swans. We need some nature. My favorite author, Anne Lamott, says that she was advised, “God is in creation and that if we want to be closer to God, we should get outdoors as much as possible”.
It makes sense to me. And I really need a God-dose today.
Well, the yarn was bulky (no label, so I guessed it was worsted weight) and I needed worsted weight. So I had to buy 2 more skeins of yarn, but they’re self-striping and oh-so cute. I didn’t finish it in time for the baby shower, but I gave my friend a card and told her it was in the process. . . and she had already seen the yarn and commented on how pretty it was at Bible study so I knew she’d be okay with that. I finished the knitting part, now am sewing the seams. They’re trickier and taking longer than I anticipated, but I really want this to turn out nice.
I’m knitting a baby kimono for my friend’s shower this weekend. I thought one skein would be *just* enough, and I had the cutest color that I got out of the bargain bin with no label. So of course I’m not going to have enough, now that I’m about 40% of the way finished. I can’t start all over–no time. I’m going to have to add solid color panels that coordinate, I think. It’s time for a trip to the LYS!
Apparently my children did not receive the memo about Daylight Savings.